I grew up in a household like that and agree that it's grossly unfair. When my brother and I got a little older, we had dish and cleanup duty whenever my Mom would do the cooking, which I maintain to this day with my wife. If she cooks, I handle the dishes (though I hate putting food away).

I honestly have grown to loathe the whole holiday feast process and have been an open advocate for just catering the whole damned thing. One challenge with that I'm finding is that it's harder to find caterers who will give you the whole turkey, rather than just cut you off a couple of slices.